As Scene On Mars

"Guess what I found today?"

"More rock and dust?"

"Yes, but not just any rock and dust. The material in my dune buggy is one of the rarest on Mars."

"And?"

"What's it worth to you?"

"What is it?"

"I don't know. None of my instruments could identify it."

"Let me see it."

"No. I remember what you did the last time."

"Look, I'm sorry about that. How was I to know the lab techs would destroy the whole load while analysing it?"

"Give something in trade."

"How about a million Martian credits? You know I'm good for it."

"Other than you and I, who else recognises Marcreds as real currency?"

"You say that every time we argue like this but when the Wells Fargo electronic shed arrives you don't hesitate cashing in the credits then."

"No one else on base does."

"So what?"

"So what'll you trade me for my buggyload of stuff?"

"How about three unlimited days on my ion Skykite?"

"I've already got 30 sols' worth I haven't used."

"What if I manufacture you a synthleaf?"

"What kind do you have?"

"What would you want?"

"Have you seen the latest Martian microbacterial forms they've put together?"

"Yeah."

"Make me a synthleaf that the bacteria can feed on and on which the bacteria leave a visible trail."

"How many do you want?"

"Let's go look at the stuff I gathered and work out the deal."

"Okay. By the way, what're your plans with the synthleaves?"

"I think I'll put some of the bacteria in the center of a synthleaf and take bets on which bacteria will eat its way to the edge first."

"Sounds great. It might take a few days. Who are you going to trust to guard the synthleaf when you're asleep?"

"I'm not. You and I are going to bet who slips in and cheats. I'll have the DNA sniffer running when I'm snoozing."

"Always the crafty one."

"Hey, my synthparents didn't hatch a dummy in a Mars incubator!"

"Oh yeah? I heard your dad was a male prostitute who didn't use a condom."

"And I heard your synthparents weren't real to begin with. You're just some goo leftover from a bad experiment that a lab tech accidentally fertilised. You want this stuff or not?"

"Some mature six-year old you are. You act like you're two. I'll give you three synthleaves for the whole load."

"Half a load for ten leaves."

"Two leaves for half."

"Eight leaves."

"For the whole load?"

"Half. Plus I'll let you pick who gets to bet."

"Five."

"It's a deal."

"And I get the first option on the second half."

"Of course you will. You're my best fellow field worker!"

"Top o' the class!"

"With the best appendage attachments money can buy."

"Speaking of which, do you have the adapter to attach the buggyload to your back?"

"Sure, it's in my right leg storage compartment.  Hang on while I switch it out with my fieldwork com system antenna."