After reading "Angela's Ashes," and in light of the similarity of names, Merkel announced today the annexation of Ireland and the movement of the headquarters of the Fourth Reich from Berlin to Limerick.
Greek politicians, disappointed that they were not chosen for the new capital, staged a protest, insisting that all future Olympics will be held in their country in order to make up for the debacle of the last one they hosted. Of course, they will not pay contractors for any work in future Olympics, either. After all, debt is a source of national pride - it's all Greek to them.
The U.S. is said to be in negotiations with Germany to split Ireland into eastern and western "Management Zones" so companies in both countries can hide their profits from taxation while still claiming to have headquarters in their home country.
Russia and China deny involvement in causing the economic collapse of Ireland despite strong evidence linking them to taking out risky loans to finance overpriced holiday getaways for their favourite pols.
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