Dichroic Dichotomies Bombastically Fantastic

Found for sale at roadside stand - fried bedbugs and ground flax seeds - mmmmm.....  Never miss a business opportunity when there's free protein for the baking.

So which state functions do you care about - subsidies for business entities or subsidies for subcities?

I want a couple of days to step back and ponder the impermeable impervious impenetrable perforations.  How, for example, does one step in and out of spacetime if spacetime does not exist?  How does one appear to those who only know spacetime as the working model for daily living/survival?

I'll leave you with these thoughts by Ashleigh Brilliant:

ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, QUESTIONS AND IDEAS, AUG 2009- NOV 2010. Part I.
 

1. Do red and green mean stop and go everywhere in the world?

2. How close did the Germans come to invading England in World War I?

3. Is it possible that the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa once had an affair?

4. Trade-name for a new brassiere: the CANDELA BRA.

5. Idea: write my own Constitution, beginning “I the person.”

6. Lists for the listless.

7. Are shoulders the only thing we can shrug?

8. Needed: a car that runs on URINE.

9. The Day I Didn’t Die.

10. The two great World Wars had many similarities and some striking differences. Where can I find a good comparative summary of these?

11. Do people with foot fetishes tend to become podiatrists?

12. Am I right in saying that, unlike the body, the mind discharges no waste products?

13. Good title: NOT NOTHING.

14. Good conversation starter: Complete this sentence: “My mother used to . . . .”

15. Did horse-and-buggy drivers ever use rear-view mirrors?

16. Question: Why “knuckle dusters”? What does the “duster” part mean?

17. We can say “there is only now” because past and future are in a certain sense unreal -- but we can’t say “there is only here” because we know other places exist.

18. Reality For Beginners.

19. Are there people who can put on their trousers both legs at once?

20. Do all Americans say “A to Zee” and all Brits say “A to Zed”? (This could be the basis of a detective story which hinges upon whether the perpetrator is American or British.)

21. Dear Obnoxious Cell Phone User,
I realize you are minding your own business (and that you wish I would mind mine) – but must you do so at the top of your voice?

22. And I heard God say, “THIS LIFE IS ON ME.”

23. I cut my finger on the First-Aid box.

24. I’ve heard of games involving a “greased pig.” How about an ordinary game of catch in which the players’ hands are greased. The game could be called BUTTERFINGERS.

25. When did a reigning British monarch first visit a British colony (not counting Ireland)?

26. How many home accidents occur when people are putting on or taking off their pants?

27. Question: Where did Hitler get the Negro extras who were sometimes needed in German films during the Nazi era? What became of them?

28. How many American black soldiers were taken prisoner by the Germans during World War II, and how were they treated?

29. Idea: an illustrated Who’s Who of our local homeless population.

30. Which animals need least sleep, and are there any which never sleep at all?

31. I find 3 different meanings of Amadeus: “Love of God,” “Loves God,” and “God’s Love.”

32. Why was there no Roman anti-cruelty organization picketing the Colosseum? Has society as a whole actually become more “humane”? Is this “progress”?

33. Isn’t the song “Thank Heaven For Little Girls” dangerously close to sexual deviance?

34. Is a point well taken the same as a point well made?

Cyclone

Faith is attempting the leap over the chasm you don't know you can jump.

Do you have to ask first?

Thanks to Patsy at Carson's Grille, Charlie's staff in Rogersville, and the beautiful young lady who renewed my driver's license at the courthouse.

Watching the driving behaviour of a Hsv City Schools van (44287 MU), I wonder if those who serve the children of school age should obey the traffic laws?

Smugness is a fault, a vice, a pleasure, a pain of mine. I don' want to know when I've picked the winners - I want the winners to keep our species and our ecosystems expanding and thriving, putting family in front of intolerance.

Science And Engineering Through A Comic's Viewpoint

[oldies but goodies from a female friend at the Nuclear Operations Directorate (NOD) - the jokes can be retold for either gender]


Understanding Engineers – Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said,
         
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
         
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."
         
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two
         
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
         
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
         
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
         
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
         
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
         
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
         
He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
         
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
         
The group fell silent for a moment.
         
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
         
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
         
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
         
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
         
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
         
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
         

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.  Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog? Now that's cool!"

Three Words

Vick is baaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-ck!!!!  A Hokie through and through.

Now, if only Virginia will get its extension agents system working for all counties.

Maxwell's Magic Hammer

Information (facts and rumours?) is more powerful than you thought:

Stairmaster Beads

Presidential Precedents

President Obama decided to stop at the studios of the Weather Channel to see what the next rubberised-face weathercaster would look like:

The Prez Meets The Future

[more here]

Bob Costas Steps Out Of The Closet...

...with new scarf design (but is that all?) - my wife says she likes it (the scarf, that is).

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

Major international airport.  Airport ticket counter.  Camera shows the back of an old man wearing bowler hat while standing at counter buying ticket.  The camera pulls back to show long line of people waiting in line behind old man.  Several people back of old man we see familiar blond-haired chap.  Camera turns to show closeup of the blond, Daniel Craig (DC), intently watching the old man.

DC follows old man through airport security (both taking patdown rather than body scanner) and onto plane.

After plane reaches cruising altitude, DC steps into lavatory.

The camera shows back of the old man as he walks into adjoining lavatory.

Closeup of old man's face in mirror.  It's Sean Connery (SC).

SC takes off hat, unbuttons his shirt and starts to remove upper body mask, slowly revealing Roger Moore.  Moore turns to camera and smiles.

Back to DC's lavatory.  Closeup of DC in mirror.  He unbuttons his shirt and slowly removes upper body mask.  Camera angles do not reveal face until the mask is completely removed.  Mirror shot shows it's Michael Caine.  Caine turns to camera and says, "Who did you think it was?  Don't you know I always wanted to be James Bond?"

Caine removes upper body mask and reveals Clive Owen.  He turns to mirror and says, "Me, too."

Back to SC's lavatory.  Moore removes his upper body mask and reveals Timothy Dalton.  He turns to mirror and says, "And I never really wanted to - I'm a serious actor..."

Lavatory door opens and John Cleese leans in, saying, "...but it's hard to resist the money."

Pierce Brosnan steps into camera view.  "I thought that was my line."  He removes upper body mask to reveal George Lazenby.

Lazenby says, "But I'm the one who had the Mrs. Bond for all ages."

Dianna Rigg steps into view and says, "That's right, darling.  There can be only one."  She shoots John Cleese and Timothy Dalton, hooks her arm into Lazenby's and they walk down the aisle toward their seats.

The camera pans around to Patrick Macnee, who leans on a cane (resembling an umbrella) and stands beside the dead bodies.  "What can I say?  I always played second fiddle to her.  Is this loo taken?"  He reaches into lavatory to put on bowler hat.

Camera pulls back to reveal plane is full of actors from Bond and Avengers films.